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Writing Log 2-25-12

WOOHOO! I did it! By 5:15, I had knocked out a couple hundred more words than I needed to actually hit my goal. I officially have 250,288 words in Writ in Blood.

Awesome.


Today, when I sat down, I had just under 5,000 words to crank out. Knowing how close I was to getting my goal, I admit that I checked my word count more often than I usually do. It's kind of like waiting for midnight on New Year's Eve--there's very little that's immediately different on one side of the even than the other, but part of the fun is the anticipation. So I knocked down one chapter (more on that later) and, feeling upset at what I'd just done, I decided to create a flashback for Nic in the prior chapter. That came out fairly easily--which worries me, as I don't trust myself when things go too right for too long--and, by and by, I finished my goal. Just like that.

With 250,000 words (oh, for a dollar per word, I tell ya) in the rear view mirror, where do I go from here? Well, I've decided that I'm not going to post any more word count goals. This isn't because I'm afraid I won't get them done--in fact, I'm almost two months early on this goal--but it's because I don't know how much longer the book needs to be. I can feel that the ending is coming together--especially with a couple of serendipitous pieces I put in today--and that it's going to end pretty soon. But how that translates into word count I'm not sure. As a result, I have an 'unofficial goal' of 300,000 words by the end of the school year (which is the last week of May), or the book finished, whichever comes first. (For a bit of perspective, if I wrote as well for the next ten writing sessions, I'd be at over 300k.) I do have another goal, but I'm not as keen on sticking to it, because I'm the kind of person who'd force the book to have more words just to get the goal right. So I'm leaving it open. What I need to do is make sure that I have goals (probably number of chapters) for revisions...I'll have to stew on that for a bit.

Anyway, I wanted to document a bit about Chapter 68 (first draft) that took me by surprise. I have put my characters in a position where they can learn a lot--so there's a worry of too much talking and exposition. Before I sat down to write today, I decided to shift the point of view to Saldrae, despite the fact that her emotional investment in this part of the story is lessened. That's probably not going to stay that way, but for now that's how it is. In order to balance the pacing, though, it was time for her to get some more spotlight. So, despite the fact that it didn't come naturally, I went ahead and wrote for Saldrae today.

Good move.

I stumbled upon some world building that I hadn't considered before (hooray for muses!) and it gave a bit of emotional distance to the chapter that wouldn't have been there if we were in Nic's or Cal's minds. The problem that I have, though--and this is something that I'm going to have to consider very carefully--is that, by the end of the chapter, I have a character with a knife in the belly.

Now, I usually don't have qualms killing off a character in my stories (I may have mentioned this earlier, I can't remember). I know that my writing group has tuned into this, often expressing dismay--but never surprise--that someone in my books dies. No one is guaranteed a happy ending. But in this case, I don't know if I need this character to survive. More than that, I really don't want the character to die. There's so much that could happen if I figure out a conceivable way for the person to survive.

The weird thing is, I know that I have to leave the knife there. I set it up in the previous chapter, I gave a tiny reminder early in this one, and then I followed through at the end. Originally, when I first realized what was going to happen, I thought, "Oh, this'll be good!" But then, as I got closer and closer to the potential death, I began to feel...almost physically ill. I didn't want the person to die.

Once I finished that chapter, I sat with my fingers intertwined and my chin resting on my thumbs, staring through my computer screen. I didn't know if I should go back in and change something--add a sentence giving an answer to the question and letting the next chapter answer it--or leave it as I wrote it, relying on my mind and instinct to work with it as I go forward. In the end, I opted for the latter, deciding to not write the character off for dead...yet.

It's strange to become so involved with fiction. These people don't exist, yet I was getting pretty glum thinking about leaving the knife in the guts. I'm still uncomfortable with what I've done, which is, on a certain level, kind of fun. I write these stories because no one else has--I have to get them out of my head, or else I quite literally have mental breakdowns. But I also write them in order to find out what happens next to the characters. I'm stuck at a Lost-like cliffhanger, and though I can figure out what I want to have happen, until my next writing session, I won't know what happens. I'm completely in the dark, at this point, about that character's fate. And that's kinda cool.

So is meeting your goal. Woo!

Comments

Holly said…
Congrats! I'm so curious about who you may or may not be killing off. I will try not to cry, this time. ;) You've broken my heart too often before.
Steve Dowdle said…
I'll try not to let your feelings change the story.

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