I'm at the point in my life where I've decided that I definitely don't know as much as I wish, but know sufficient to know that I don't really know anything. In this quasi-Socratic quandary, then, I feel more than a little stuck. I want to learn more, gain more insight, understand more. There simply isn't enough time in the day (or, more importantly, energy in my body) to learn all I'd like to learn.
So there's this weird dilemma in my life: On one hand, I want to learn more--insatiably--particularly about the things that I teach. Impostor syndrome is real, and I hate feeling inadequate. But, at the same time, the things which I could/should do to improve myself are always within the "running-on-fumes" level of my abilities. Sickness (like today), coupled with too little sleep (like every day), and a dash of "all the other stuff I gotta do" leave me apathetic about my goals. Why stretch when I'd rather stretch out on the couch and enjoy a game or episode of TV?
This is not the first time I've complained about this problem, but despite a half year's progress, I'm no closer to the solution.
I saw a video on the book of faces the other day, in which a smart person was talking to another smart person about motivation. Her argument was basically this: Our brains are wired to recoil from that which is difficult, because that makes us worried, stressed, or uncomfortable and therefore unwilling to do what is necessary. Motivation, she said (in effect), is a hoax.
At this point, I'm not sure I fully understand her argument, but from what I can figure out, I think I both agree and disagree. I dislike hard work--or rather, work that doesn't matter. This is the keeping the house clean type of hard work, or the going for a stroll in the evening type of hard work. The house will always get messy, and I won't walk far enough or fast enough for the stroll to be counted as exercise. So, yeah. I get it. We don't like to do hard things.
But being ignorant of things is also hard on me. Part of the reason (aside from addiction, most likely) I spend more time on Twitter than Facebook is because the people there are quite a bit different from me. They're successful authors, agents, or educators. But, more importantly, I have a lot of PoC whom I follow, giving me different insights and helping me see the world through other eyes. That kind of learning is hard to do, because it stretches me so much. Yet I prefer that over being ignorant of what others think.
In the end, I figure I know less than Jon Snow, but I'm hopeful that I can learn more as we go along. It isn't much, but it is, at this juncture, about all I got.
So there's this weird dilemma in my life: On one hand, I want to learn more--insatiably--particularly about the things that I teach. Impostor syndrome is real, and I hate feeling inadequate. But, at the same time, the things which I could/should do to improve myself are always within the "running-on-fumes" level of my abilities. Sickness (like today), coupled with too little sleep (like every day), and a dash of "all the other stuff I gotta do" leave me apathetic about my goals. Why stretch when I'd rather stretch out on the couch and enjoy a game or episode of TV?
This is not the first time I've complained about this problem, but despite a half year's progress, I'm no closer to the solution.
I saw a video on the book of faces the other day, in which a smart person was talking to another smart person about motivation. Her argument was basically this: Our brains are wired to recoil from that which is difficult, because that makes us worried, stressed, or uncomfortable and therefore unwilling to do what is necessary. Motivation, she said (in effect), is a hoax.
At this point, I'm not sure I fully understand her argument, but from what I can figure out, I think I both agree and disagree. I dislike hard work--or rather, work that doesn't matter. This is the keeping the house clean type of hard work, or the going for a stroll in the evening type of hard work. The house will always get messy, and I won't walk far enough or fast enough for the stroll to be counted as exercise. So, yeah. I get it. We don't like to do hard things.
But being ignorant of things is also hard on me. Part of the reason (aside from addiction, most likely) I spend more time on Twitter than Facebook is because the people there are quite a bit different from me. They're successful authors, agents, or educators. But, more importantly, I have a lot of PoC whom I follow, giving me different insights and helping me see the world through other eyes. That kind of learning is hard to do, because it stretches me so much. Yet I prefer that over being ignorant of what others think.
In the end, I figure I know less than Jon Snow, but I'm hopeful that I can learn more as we go along. It isn't much, but it is, at this juncture, about all I got.