I got to write today, which makes it the last day of January in which I'll write. It also puts me squarely in the middle of a bizarre confluence of scheduling that will keep me away from the keyboard for another two weeks. See, the weirdest thing happened to me during this last month: I started to like a sport. This is an exceptionally strange occurrence, since I've never been interested in athleticism, though, to a certain extent, I'm still not actually involved with the sport. Instead, I've become the first-of-my-school Quidditch coach, something that I had not foreseen when I took on the Harry Potter and Philosophy Winterim. (It was during that Winterim that I wrote longhand on the plane, as I mentioned in the last post.) So now my time is split in yet another way. Because of that new interest, I will be doing my class on Saturday morning, then going up to see the Utah Snow Cup for the rest of that day. The following week will see me at UVU, but instead I'll be attending the Life, The Universe, and Everything symposium with my writers' group. While I'll be doing 'writing stuff', I won't actively be composing anything. Then, in March, I will have to give up a day to do Extreme Theater with the students. That means that I'm looking at a very patchy few weeks.
This saddens me.
But, at the same time, perhaps it's a good thing that I give the story a break for a bit, as I'm horribly disappointed in its behavior lately. (And, though I already fixed it, when I first spelled 'behavior' I included a 'u' so it read 'behaviour'. I've been reading too much British literature. Nah, just kidding. You can never read too much British literature.) The last two chapters (this one and the last one, which I mentioned two blogs back) are really quite lame. Majorly lame, poorly constructed, and rambling. Worse than this post, actually. See, it's a matter of feeling as though now is not the time to be revealing crucial exposition (as usual, via dialogue....bleck), yet I'm nearly 220,000 words in. If I don't start explaining myself, I'll forget the explanation! But the instinct says, "Not yet." And the craftsman in me says, "Dude! Seriously? It's time to wind this up!" I mean, even if I got that crucial chapter that I don't know how to write finished, I'd still have a good 10 or so chapters to finish it all, since the information that I'm trying to get right now isn't the climax.
I guess I'm just getting fatigued with it, which shows that I'm running low on ideas. I refuse to let this one explode into the disaster of Tales from the Flame, but even with a couple of weeks 'chill time', I'm coming back at this as unenthusiastic as one can imagine. It isn't drudgery, but it isn't poetry, and that's really a problem for me. I don't want this thing to peter out, to end with a whimper instead of a bang. There's so much that I can do with this story--I know that I can, but it just isn't coming out correctly.
Part of it, I know, is the schedule thing. I'm beginning to think that trying to write today was a misstep. I really wanted to write something, but I've found that if I head to Barnes & Noble to 'get inspired', that's just code for my muse saying, "Read someone else's stuff; it'll be better than making your own." (I headed to B&N today, in case you didn't infer that by my statement.) And, since I won't be at the keyboard again for two weeks, I felt as though I had to push through and get something done. Unfortunately, I may have done more damage than I care to consider. Maybe, if I don't have multiple weeks of clear Saturdays ahead of me, I shouldn't try? That seems lame, especially since there's little chance of having things clear until significantly later in the year. I'm totally on track for getting my goal, but that's another thing that prevents me from calling an extended sabbatical on writing. I don't want to get into the mindset that I can walk away, just because it's hard. I feel as though I'm training for another aspect of my life--telling stories full-time--and if I can't practice the way I want to perform, then I've no business trying to get into the business.
Anyway, I wanted to just bring up one little thing that might make things a bit clearer to those who don't normally write, and that's the concept of 'bad writing.'
On Bad Writing
I just recently watched the documentary Bad Writing with a friend and I really enjoyed it. It explored the instinctive description that creators of imaginary content--even when it's realistic fiction--have to struggle with, and that is what makes a piece of writing bad? Why am I bagging on my last few chapters so hard? Here's my best thesis: I get bored, distracted, or find my own interest waning while I write it. It's something that I don't have to have someone external look and give feedback on. Rather, it's an intuitive thing that lets me know I've done something wrong.
This is ambiguous, then, because it's so personal. I mean, maybe it's just the caffeine from my Dr. Pepper that's keeping me from doing this chapter well and paying attention to it. But there's more to it than just my own attention that I pay to it. I usually allow myself to jump online and use Google Images for a thing here or there, check my email, or throw a post up on Facebook. I'm willing to do that because I don't have the discipline to avoid it. But normally I jump online for a minute or two, then hurry back to what I'm writing. It's kind of like pausing on a hike to eat some gorp and catch your breath. You aren't necessarily skipping out on your hike, and you're still planning on enjoying the view from the top once you get there, but you are taking a quick moment to relax from the rigors of the trail. Thus it is with the Internet and me.
But I've found the Internet to be much more interesting than it should be the last few writing sessions. I've found my ability to concentrate on one thing slipping quite a bit lately, and I fear I have some sort of late-onset ADHD, which would be horrible, since I don't exhibit any of the H (hyperactivity)...just the easily distracted part. I dunno, that's probably some BS supposition that is utterly unsupportable by facts: Y'know, like a political statement. Anyway, the allure of the Internet has been stronger lately, and I worry that that's indicative of my own slowing interest in the story.
But back to the 'bad writing' idea: It can be more objective than that. Part of it is the way the characters behave. If I take Saldrae and she's suddenly submissive, passive, and quiet, then I know the chapter's bad. Why? Because (if you've been reading my earlier posts, you might be able to guess this) Saldrae is the opposite of that. She's intelligent, proactive, and quick to bring up her point of view. So when I go through most of a chapter forgetting she's even in the same room as everyone else, then I know I've made a misstep.
The choices my characters make can come from one of two sources: the plot, or their character. While a plot motivated choice can be effective (coincidences, for example, are often plot motivated choices; but Pride and Prejudice use coincidences to great effect), but they usually aren't as strong as they could be. The reason for this is because we ourselves are less satisfied with life when we feel like we don't have a choice in what we have to do. We hate rolling out of bed in the morning to go to work because, if we were to make an autonomous choice, we'd stay in bed and keep dreaming of butterbeer and Quidditch. We much prefer it when we are free to choose to go to drink butterbeer after a Quidditch match, something that we've elected to do because the circumstance (i.e. the plot) doesn't force us to do something outside of our nature. The same holds true in writing. While plot motivation can be used well (as I mentioned above), it's best used sparingly, if at all. People are living lives where they're impelled to do all sorts of things they don't want to do; the last thing they want is to read about a person who's totally out of control of his or her life. We love it when we can see characters take the reins and do things that they want.
When it comes to bad writing, a plot motivated, external issue is always less satisfying, but they are infinitely easier to write. Apropos of these latest stinker chapters, they are, frankly, a perfect example of the plot motivated style of storytelling. I can tell I'm trying to move it to a more character-centric type of thing, but the plot is a powerful part of the story. The characters have to know certain things, learn certain points, and meet certain people in a certain order or else the story falls apart. But when you can see that obviously happening as some sort of fatalistic, omnipotent plot that's forcing the pieces into place, it just isn't interesting. It feels canned, preordained, and uninspired. In short, it feels like these last few chapters.
The question, then, is can it be fixed? Well, yes, I wager so. With enough time, contemplation, and revisions, these lame chapters can find the character-driven motivation for what they need to do--and, more importantly, why they need to do it--that will (eventually) put the characters in their correct spot. But that takes work, and improvising that as I write has not been happening recently.
Hence the reason for the lambasting of the latest chapters.
This saddens me.
But, at the same time, perhaps it's a good thing that I give the story a break for a bit, as I'm horribly disappointed in its behavior lately. (And, though I already fixed it, when I first spelled 'behavior' I included a 'u' so it read 'behaviour'. I've been reading too much British literature. Nah, just kidding. You can never read too much British literature.) The last two chapters (this one and the last one, which I mentioned two blogs back) are really quite lame. Majorly lame, poorly constructed, and rambling. Worse than this post, actually. See, it's a matter of feeling as though now is not the time to be revealing crucial exposition (as usual, via dialogue....bleck), yet I'm nearly 220,000 words in. If I don't start explaining myself, I'll forget the explanation! But the instinct says, "Not yet." And the craftsman in me says, "Dude! Seriously? It's time to wind this up!" I mean, even if I got that crucial chapter that I don't know how to write finished, I'd still have a good 10 or so chapters to finish it all, since the information that I'm trying to get right now isn't the climax.
I guess I'm just getting fatigued with it, which shows that I'm running low on ideas. I refuse to let this one explode into the disaster of Tales from the Flame, but even with a couple of weeks 'chill time', I'm coming back at this as unenthusiastic as one can imagine. It isn't drudgery, but it isn't poetry, and that's really a problem for me. I don't want this thing to peter out, to end with a whimper instead of a bang. There's so much that I can do with this story--I know that I can, but it just isn't coming out correctly.
Part of it, I know, is the schedule thing. I'm beginning to think that trying to write today was a misstep. I really wanted to write something, but I've found that if I head to Barnes & Noble to 'get inspired', that's just code for my muse saying, "Read someone else's stuff; it'll be better than making your own." (I headed to B&N today, in case you didn't infer that by my statement.) And, since I won't be at the keyboard again for two weeks, I felt as though I had to push through and get something done. Unfortunately, I may have done more damage than I care to consider. Maybe, if I don't have multiple weeks of clear Saturdays ahead of me, I shouldn't try? That seems lame, especially since there's little chance of having things clear until significantly later in the year. I'm totally on track for getting my goal, but that's another thing that prevents me from calling an extended sabbatical on writing. I don't want to get into the mindset that I can walk away, just because it's hard. I feel as though I'm training for another aspect of my life--telling stories full-time--and if I can't practice the way I want to perform, then I've no business trying to get into the business.
Anyway, I wanted to just bring up one little thing that might make things a bit clearer to those who don't normally write, and that's the concept of 'bad writing.'
On Bad Writing
I just recently watched the documentary Bad Writing with a friend and I really enjoyed it. It explored the instinctive description that creators of imaginary content--even when it's realistic fiction--have to struggle with, and that is what makes a piece of writing bad? Why am I bagging on my last few chapters so hard? Here's my best thesis: I get bored, distracted, or find my own interest waning while I write it. It's something that I don't have to have someone external look and give feedback on. Rather, it's an intuitive thing that lets me know I've done something wrong.
This is ambiguous, then, because it's so personal. I mean, maybe it's just the caffeine from my Dr. Pepper that's keeping me from doing this chapter well and paying attention to it. But there's more to it than just my own attention that I pay to it. I usually allow myself to jump online and use Google Images for a thing here or there, check my email, or throw a post up on Facebook. I'm willing to do that because I don't have the discipline to avoid it. But normally I jump online for a minute or two, then hurry back to what I'm writing. It's kind of like pausing on a hike to eat some gorp and catch your breath. You aren't necessarily skipping out on your hike, and you're still planning on enjoying the view from the top once you get there, but you are taking a quick moment to relax from the rigors of the trail. Thus it is with the Internet and me.
But I've found the Internet to be much more interesting than it should be the last few writing sessions. I've found my ability to concentrate on one thing slipping quite a bit lately, and I fear I have some sort of late-onset ADHD, which would be horrible, since I don't exhibit any of the H (hyperactivity)...just the easily distracted part. I dunno, that's probably some BS supposition that is utterly unsupportable by facts: Y'know, like a political statement. Anyway, the allure of the Internet has been stronger lately, and I worry that that's indicative of my own slowing interest in the story.
But back to the 'bad writing' idea: It can be more objective than that. Part of it is the way the characters behave. If I take Saldrae and she's suddenly submissive, passive, and quiet, then I know the chapter's bad. Why? Because (if you've been reading my earlier posts, you might be able to guess this) Saldrae is the opposite of that. She's intelligent, proactive, and quick to bring up her point of view. So when I go through most of a chapter forgetting she's even in the same room as everyone else, then I know I've made a misstep.
The choices my characters make can come from one of two sources: the plot, or their character. While a plot motivated choice can be effective (coincidences, for example, are often plot motivated choices; but Pride and Prejudice use coincidences to great effect), but they usually aren't as strong as they could be. The reason for this is because we ourselves are less satisfied with life when we feel like we don't have a choice in what we have to do. We hate rolling out of bed in the morning to go to work because, if we were to make an autonomous choice, we'd stay in bed and keep dreaming of butterbeer and Quidditch. We much prefer it when we are free to choose to go to drink butterbeer after a Quidditch match, something that we've elected to do because the circumstance (i.e. the plot) doesn't force us to do something outside of our nature. The same holds true in writing. While plot motivation can be used well (as I mentioned above), it's best used sparingly, if at all. People are living lives where they're impelled to do all sorts of things they don't want to do; the last thing they want is to read about a person who's totally out of control of his or her life. We love it when we can see characters take the reins and do things that they want.
When it comes to bad writing, a plot motivated, external issue is always less satisfying, but they are infinitely easier to write. Apropos of these latest stinker chapters, they are, frankly, a perfect example of the plot motivated style of storytelling. I can tell I'm trying to move it to a more character-centric type of thing, but the plot is a powerful part of the story. The characters have to know certain things, learn certain points, and meet certain people in a certain order or else the story falls apart. But when you can see that obviously happening as some sort of fatalistic, omnipotent plot that's forcing the pieces into place, it just isn't interesting. It feels canned, preordained, and uninspired. In short, it feels like these last few chapters.
The question, then, is can it be fixed? Well, yes, I wager so. With enough time, contemplation, and revisions, these lame chapters can find the character-driven motivation for what they need to do--and, more importantly, why they need to do it--that will (eventually) put the characters in their correct spot. But that takes work, and improvising that as I write has not been happening recently.
Hence the reason for the lambasting of the latest chapters.
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