Results of Ruminations

I sent a query on a project and was promptly rejected. I took it harder seeing the email in my inbox than I did actually reading the rejection. I knew what was in it in that same, ethereal sense of how you "know" that the traffic going home is going to suck or that you "know" that the plumber's bill is going to be way higher than you can afford. It was the knowledge of bad news, a sense of foreboding that hope only serves to worsen. Unsurprisingly, I was depressed most of the day. It's kind of silly that I was depressed about news I hadn't technically received yet, but that was the case. Here's the saddest (?) part: I couldn't see myself opening that email and seeing a request for additional text. Like, the possibility that he could say, "Hey, this sounds like fun. Send me more!" couldn't be generated in my mind. The possibility of a "Yes" seemed so remote that my brain couldn't galvanize my emotions. How would I r...

I haven't blogged about my book, Writ in Blood , since I proclaimed that I was done with it and wouldn't pick it up again until it was published. Embarrassingly, I'm now going to blog about it, even though I'm not any closer to my publishing goals now than I was in 2013. What happened was this: Twitter. While shopping around my manuscript, I followed some of the agents whom I'd queried. Not too much after sending off to one particular agent (I won't say who, mostly because I can't remember), I saw a mini Twitter-rant among two or three agents about the size of queried stories. Mine came in at 289,000+ words, and the tweet specifically raged about 290,000 word submissions. A little later--once the sting of knowing I'd ticked off some agents had faded--I mentioned to a different agent the size of my manuscript. She'd replied with a glance askance. (Looked like this, if I remember right: 0.o) She then recommended that I try splitting it up. For ...

I had Thursday and Friday off from school this week. Thursday I went up to Gayle's school and did a sound demo on my guitar, then had a fun time preparing the kids for the coming zombie uprising of 2012. If you want more details, say so in a P.S. or something and I'll give you more. Anyway, Thursday was completely full from top to bottom (Thursday nights I have a writer's group that meets in Provo). Friday I was playing Rock Band 2 with Peter when the doorbell goes off. Not expecting anyone nor any packages, I was a bit surprised. A reactionary thought--"I wonder if it's the Jehovah's Witnesses?"--skipped through my mind. I was right. I didn't bash with them, though I thought some of their interpretations were more than just a little flawed and inconsistent. Instead, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity and learn more about another religion--one which, admittedly, I had only learned about from other elders (not the best source for an unbiased...

My main reason for writing a blog came out of wanting to discuss MGS2 in a defensive, vindicating light. Really, that was all. I can't really see a reason for writing anything else, what with much more interesting things out there, and since I can't write anymore (at least, that's what it feels like), it seems foolish to even try--particularly in a forum of instantly published potential embarrassment like the Internet manages to provide so readily. But here I am anyway, pretending to write, pretending to be profound. My class is really cool. I have 21 kids, which is just right for me. I have their names memorized, I know whom I'm worried about, and we're finishing up Beowulf on Thursday next. The school is fun, small, and I have a job satisfaction level that I've never felt before. I finally feel like a contributing member of society, rather than a warm body cog that is adept at mediocrity. One of the saddest, most frustrating parts about me, though, is that I ...