In the post-NaNoWriMo brain-sploodge (I'm pretty sure that's a real phrase), I've been negligent with my non-fiction essay writing. And my normal writing. And, you know....doing things with words. I haven't written any worthwhile poetry in...well, years, probably. I wrote one poem with my creative writing class, and it wasn't anything worth putting time into. I've hobbled together three far too long and complicated essays, with a fourth in the works, but I haven't dropped a word in any of the different books or worlds that I want to work on.
On one level, it's a nice purge. I wrote a lot, really fast, with very little planning, and pulled off a novella. The goal forcing me to put in the word count was really draining, and since I not only wanted to "win" NaNoWriMo again, I wanted to finish a story in time to gift it to my wife for Christmas. Having done that, I wasn't ready for more writing. As a result, the daily thoughts here on this blog are quite a bit more sporadic than what I did at the beginning of the school year. I've written 18 of the 26 days so far this month, though I suppose it's not a huge crime that I didn't write on Christmas (or the Eve, since that day is pretty tradition-heavy in my life, too). While I'm really proud of the three essays I linked above, I think, having fallen off the essay-writing wagon in order to write a book about cloudfarmers, I am struggling to convince myself to resume.
"But it's almost New Year! You could make a goal and stuff!" I hear you cry. "Go ahead and take off the week before 2017 starts. Refresh yourself."
Sure. And there will be a lot of writing next year. But there are two things that I'm trying to get me to the keyboard about: 1) my European trip, and 2) the break itself.
For the first, I'm headed to Europe for two weeks with my students. That's two weeks of incredible experiences. I'll be writing a daily journal about what we did in order to keep the memories sharper longer. I'll be taking lots of pictures. I'm very excited about it. But that type of writing--travelogues--isn't really what I'm trying to improve in terms of my own writing. That means that, though I won't be in school or doing any of the other aspects of my life that drain my energy that I could otherwise use for writing, I won't be in the mind- or physical space I need to write any of my fiction. Again, I'm not complaining about being in Europe. I'm particularly excited that I'm headed back to Stratford-upon-Avon. (Cue giddy fangirling sounds.) Instead, I'm saying that, if I have a goal for improving my writing, missing out on the first three weeks of the year is a bad way to start a New Year's resolution.
As for point number two, it's really frustrating to me to have copious amounts of free time and not get something written. Even a Saturday in which I don't write more than some throw-away essay is one that is counted as a loss. (There's a paradox in there, too: If I don't have the goal to write, I won't get anything written and I'll be upset; if I have a goal to write, and it doesn't happen--usually because I'm being a father--then I feel the day's a waste and I get upset.) Having an entire week in which to write, yet saying, "I'm taking a break!" is something of a waste to me.
Why don't I just write something, then? Well, that's part of the problem: I'm not excited by any of my book prospects. They all interest me, but I don't know if I want to explore them. I'm trying my hand at a mainstream fiction book and it's really intimidating me. I have a dinosaur book that I feel I still haven't done enough research on the dinosaurs that I'm putting into the story. I have a sprawling, complex, grimdark piece that makes me feel kind of icky because it's so grim and dark. There are other ideas that are percolating in the back of my head, including any number of sequels, edits, or changes to existing work. Have you ever gone to your favorite restaurant because you're hungry, only to be paralyzed by the idea of having to pick your meal? It's like that, except that writing doesn't usually lead to satiety, but only a desire to write more.
Unless it's in the post-NaNoWriMo brain-sploodge. That, apparently, is different.
On one level, it's a nice purge. I wrote a lot, really fast, with very little planning, and pulled off a novella. The goal forcing me to put in the word count was really draining, and since I not only wanted to "win" NaNoWriMo again, I wanted to finish a story in time to gift it to my wife for Christmas. Having done that, I wasn't ready for more writing. As a result, the daily thoughts here on this blog are quite a bit more sporadic than what I did at the beginning of the school year. I've written 18 of the 26 days so far this month, though I suppose it's not a huge crime that I didn't write on Christmas (or the Eve, since that day is pretty tradition-heavy in my life, too). While I'm really proud of the three essays I linked above, I think, having fallen off the essay-writing wagon in order to write a book about cloudfarmers, I am struggling to convince myself to resume.
"But it's almost New Year! You could make a goal and stuff!" I hear you cry. "Go ahead and take off the week before 2017 starts. Refresh yourself."
Sure. And there will be a lot of writing next year. But there are two things that I'm trying to get me to the keyboard about: 1) my European trip, and 2) the break itself.
For the first, I'm headed to Europe for two weeks with my students. That's two weeks of incredible experiences. I'll be writing a daily journal about what we did in order to keep the memories sharper longer. I'll be taking lots of pictures. I'm very excited about it. But that type of writing--travelogues--isn't really what I'm trying to improve in terms of my own writing. That means that, though I won't be in school or doing any of the other aspects of my life that drain my energy that I could otherwise use for writing, I won't be in the mind- or physical space I need to write any of my fiction. Again, I'm not complaining about being in Europe. I'm particularly excited that I'm headed back to Stratford-upon-Avon. (Cue giddy fangirling sounds.) Instead, I'm saying that, if I have a goal for improving my writing, missing out on the first three weeks of the year is a bad way to start a New Year's resolution.
As for point number two, it's really frustrating to me to have copious amounts of free time and not get something written. Even a Saturday in which I don't write more than some throw-away essay is one that is counted as a loss. (There's a paradox in there, too: If I don't have the goal to write, I won't get anything written and I'll be upset; if I have a goal to write, and it doesn't happen--usually because I'm being a father--then I feel the day's a waste and I get upset.) Having an entire week in which to write, yet saying, "I'm taking a break!" is something of a waste to me.
Why don't I just write something, then? Well, that's part of the problem: I'm not excited by any of my book prospects. They all interest me, but I don't know if I want to explore them. I'm trying my hand at a mainstream fiction book and it's really intimidating me. I have a dinosaur book that I feel I still haven't done enough research on the dinosaurs that I'm putting into the story. I have a sprawling, complex, grimdark piece that makes me feel kind of icky because it's so grim and dark. There are other ideas that are percolating in the back of my head, including any number of sequels, edits, or changes to existing work. Have you ever gone to your favorite restaurant because you're hungry, only to be paralyzed by the idea of having to pick your meal? It's like that, except that writing doesn't usually lead to satiety, but only a desire to write more.
Unless it's in the post-NaNoWriMo brain-sploodge. That, apparently, is different.