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Writing Circles

With only one exception (that I can think of), I have only ever written nonfiction essays here. Some have been theoretical; others have been historical or political; yet others, personal. But the idea behind that has been pretty straightforward: I write fiction in my novels, so I reserve this space for nonfiction explorations. Nevertheless, I learned one thing that I like to do in my writing, and it's something that I learned how to do here, on this website.

I like to write in circles.

I don't mean that I like to repeat myself, which I try to avoid in the first place, but it doesn't always work out that way. Instead, I mean that I spend some time thinking up my topic, which I try to put in a unique or thought provoking way. Sometimes, I give the title a pun (my personal favorite is the (I'm)pure one, simply because it can be read in a variety of ways), or some other twist that makes me, at least, sit up a little straighter.

That's the beginning of the circle.

The next section of writing is my exploration--very much a thinking out loud, stream of consciousness style of writing. This often drifts away from my theme, which is why I like writing my title first. When I get to the end of the day's work, I glance up at the title to see if I'm anywhere near where I started. Usually, seeing that thought, that title again reminds me that I have a little farther to go in my writing. That means that I produce a few more words, a couple more paragraphs, than I was anticipating.

That's the middle of the circle.

Once I've pushed past my lazy inclination of where I ought to stop, then I try to find a way of fusing where I am to where I started. This helps me to improvise a thought that comes together at the end. By teasing out what I was trying to say at the beginning and forging it with the conclusions I've generated, I then toss out a variation on what I began with. Sometimes I recapitulate the title itself. I often have to tweak the grammar a little so that I can make the sentence have some sense to it.

That's the end of the circle, which is the beginning of the circle.

This has bled over to my fiction writing. I'm plodding through a book that's been straining me as a writer and a Mormon. In it, I confront a lot of the things that I think about a lot, all via the characters of an imaginary rural town in central Utah (that is, let's face it, basically just Mount Pleasant). Each chapter is from a different character (so far), and each one of them starts off with a hook. My favorite is from the bishop's point of view, where he thinks to himself, "There's no darkness like an October night." I then detail the rest of the chapter, finally finishing with "I bid goodbye and walk toward home through the thick darkness that only a night in October can bring."

There's something about that cyclical phrasing, of seeing the same idea open a chapter and close it, that I enjoy. I don't know if that's the sort of thing that other readers will appreciate, and I honestly don't know why I'm writing that book (along with others) the way I am. I can't determine if I'm doing anything worthwhile with any of what I write, so the typical writer's paralysis is a real thing here, too. But more than that, there's a rawness to that story that makes me worried that I'm revealing too much of myself--or perhaps, not enough. No matter how I cut it, though, the thing that scares me the most about this book is that it blurs the lines between fiction (my story) and nonfiction (my own fears).

I hope that I turn out something worth saying, though. It'd be nice if this idea of writing in circles but still moving forward is as rewarding to read as it is to write. On that, I'll have to wait and see.

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